Depression or Suppressed Rage? Are We Treating the Wrong Problem?
When we think of depression, we usually picture someone feeling sad, empty, or exhausted—like they’re running on low battery. But what if, for some people, depression isn’t about low energy at all?
What if it’s actually anger, frustration, or rage that’s been buried so deep it has nowhere else to go?
This might sound strange at first, but hear me out.
When Depression Is Really Anger Turned Inward
Have you ever felt so frustrated but had no outlet for it? Maybe you:
Grew up in a home where anger wasn’t “allowed”
Learned early on that expressing frustration made people uncomfortable
Got labeled as “too much” when you spoke up about your feelings
Had to be the peacekeeper in your family or relationships
Over time, if you keep swallowing your anger, it doesn’t just disappear—it turns inward. And guess what? That inward-turned anger can look a lot like depression.
Instead of snapping at someone, you withdraw.
Instead of yelling, you feel exhausted and numb.
Instead of standing up for yourself, you start believing, Maybe I’m the problem.
Your body and brain are still reacting to the anger, but since you’re not expressing it, it festers.
Signs Your Depression Might Actually Be Suppressed Rage
You feel emotionally flat, but when something finally pushes you over the edge, you explode in ways that surprise even you.
You feel irritated by everything—loud noises, small inconveniences, people just existing.
You struggle with self-criticism or shame, as if your brain has turned against you.
You often have tense muscles, headaches, or jaw pain from holding things in.
You have strong reactions to injustice, but you don’t always know how to channel them.
You find yourself fantasizing about cutting people off completely or making drastic life changes.
Sound familiar?
Why We Suppress Anger (and Why It Backfires)
Many of us learned early that anger isn’t safe—that it makes us “bad,” “selfish,” or “difficult.” Especially if you grew up in a household where:
Anger wasn’t allowed (but sadness or compliance were).
One person dominated emotionally, leaving no room for your feelings.
You had to be the “mature” one or the “fixer” for everyone else.
So, you learned to push it down.
But anger isn’t meant to be buried. It’s a signal—just like hunger tells you to eat, anger tells you that something is off. When ignored, it festers, turning into self-doubt, burnout, and even depression.
How to Release Suppressed Anger (Without Exploding or Feeling Guilty)
If you’re realizing that some of your depression might actually be unprocessed anger, you’re not alone. Here are some ways to start releasing it in healthy, productive ways:
Get curious about it. Instead of judging yourself for feeling angry, ask: What is this anger trying to tell me?
Move your body. Pent-up frustration loves movement—boxing, running, dancing, even just shaking it out can help.
Write an “angry letter” (that you never send). Let it all out, unfiltered. Say the things you wish you could say. Then rip it up.
Practice setting small boundaries. If you’re used to keeping quiet, even saying “Actually, I don’t agree” or “I need some space” can feel powerful.
Give yourself permission to feel it. Anger isn’t bad. It’s just energy. You don’t have to act on it recklessly, but you do need to acknowledge it so it doesn’t turn against you.
Final Thoughts
If you’ve struggled with depression that doesn’t quite feel like “sadness”, it might be worth asking: Am I actually just really, really pissed off?
And if the answer is yes, that’s not a bad thing. It’s just a sign that there’s something inside you that needs attention.
Your anger isn’t the enemy. It’s trying to tell you something. Maybe it’s time to listen.