“You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.” It’s one of those phrases that gets thrown around so often, it almost feels like an absolute truth. The kind of advice that sounds wise, encouraging—even necessary. But here’s the problem: it’s not entirely true.

If you have an anxious attachment style, dating can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, you’re feeling hopeful and excited about a new connection, and the next, you’re overanalyzing a text message, wondering if you said something wrong. You might find yourself craving reassurance, worrying about how much someone likes you, or feeling intense emotional highs and lows depending on how a relationship is going.